I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
