Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
