My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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