so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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