We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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