the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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