Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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