I want to stick my p in your. b.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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