Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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