i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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