margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize