So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
