Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
