We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
