sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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