He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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