I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
