just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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