When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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