No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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