i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
