I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
