She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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