I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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