I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
