in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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