Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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