their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
