My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
