good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
