I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
