I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
