he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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