What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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