I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
