Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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