Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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