Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
