Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
