I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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