i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
