Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
