then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
