How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So here I am, sexting at work.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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