Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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