Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize