Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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