9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
