Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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