The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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