This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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