the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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