so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
