Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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