ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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