Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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