and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
