i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
