Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
