So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
